Tuesday, May 08, 2007

The things people do. The things I don't understand.

Imitating my daughter from her blog here, but there are things even I don't understand. Lots of them actually. Like everybody else I understand far less than I think and even then I'm probably 'understanding' it wrongly, or in a limited kind of way. Scrap the 'probably'.

Anyway, among the more mundane things I don't understand is 'fashion'. I mean I 'get' that there are trends of everything in human society, ranging from medical science to what's cool in underwear, but sometimes you come across something that really puzzles you. Puzzles me anyway.

Today's puzzle is women's footwear and specifically the kind currently apparently in vogue around NZ, where you see these...things...on women's feet that might qualify as 'footwear', since they are, in the strictest sense 'worn' on the feet. However, their utility and style eludes me. First of all, with it getting cold now and all you'd expect them to cover just a tad more of the feet the 'wear' is meant to cover; and secondly what is it with the pointy tips?

To quote Aynia: "WTF"? Are these women wearing those things in preparation for some kind of attack by rampaging males—or attack by anything that might be damaged by the suitably-placed impact of a pointy object, even if it isn't steel- or hard-leather-capped?

Or, and here the mind truly boggles, does anybody actually think that this kind of footwear does anything but make the wearer look like...well, a clown maybe? There you have these otherwise perfectly adequately-dressed women of most ages and you look down and there are these ludicrous pointy things on their feet, occasionally curling up like the shoes of a circus dunce.

Ahh, fashion. In some years, people are going to look back on this, like they now do look back at past sins, and shamefully wonder "did I really wear this and think it cool?" If they cringe at the thought, I think this time they deserve it; and if they pretend they never wore these things by disposing of them anonymously to some charity or into the trash, that will not erase the shame and cringe-factor. I really do have a hard time concealing my mirth whenever my gaze alights on one of these pieces of 'footwear'.

Another 'fashion' issue that leaves me with even more incomprehension is 'tarting up'. I don't mean dressing up tastefully and ending up pleasing to look at, but 'tarting'. Women end up looking like...well, tarts; meaning basically prostitutes. Men also practice 'tarting up and usually end up looking just as ridiculous. If you want to see 'tarted up' people without attending the occasions for which people indulge in that kind of hideous disguising, watch your average Academy Awards or Golden Globe ceremony, or maybe Dancing with the Stars. The women's dresses, provided by people called 'designers' who give the profession a really bad name, are usually ludicrous and coarse. The hair's pasted and sprayed and twisted this way and that and carefully mussed up here and there. And the makeup—ahh, the makeup. Back to the old dance-around-the-fire days of strange tribal ceremonies. You're almost waiting for the drums to start up. Dum-um-dum-dee-dumdumdum.

It really makes you wonder "what are they thinking?" Are they thinking? What's happened to their perceptions—of themselves in particular? Why these grotesque deformations of their appearances? Why take a perfectly beautiful face and mess around with it until it looks like a witch's mask?

As for the men, they of course often end up looking like penguins with human heads. Personally I think that a tux should not be worn unless at gunpoint and under imminent threat to one's life. Neither should anything that constricts the neck. Gunpoint! I say. And even then there's got to be a way to wheedle out of it. I've sworn to myself that I will not attend any occasion where I have to wear a tie or bow or where penguin garb is compulsory, unless I did so for the purpose of disguising my true identity or if my life or health were at stake.

End of Things I Don't Understand rant. Only reason this came up was that bizarre piece of footwear I saw a short time ago, which basically consisted of a thin high heel with some even thinner strapping to hold the wearer's heel in place, a thin ridge under the arch of the foot; a lethal looking, curl-up pointy cover for the wearer's toes. And believe you me, this wasn't a good-looking foot either and it would have benefited from careful concealment. Even as it was, the 'footwear' suggested that I was really looking at an alien trying to hide inhuman features of its anatomy under that elongated point. Maybe I was? Are we being invaded by pointy-footed aliens? Am I just being ridiculously paranoid or just an ass with no 'fashion sense'? Ahh, yes, questions, questions...

And lastly, and I just have to say it... People go to work in this?? At least I presume it was work-wear on that alien/human/whatever this morning, since it was the start of a working day and the rest of the person didn't look like a lady-of-the-night but a perfectly ordinary boring lady-of-business.

So... W T ... ???


nanarama said...

aaah so supercutie. This post made me laugh quite a bit. Women wear pointy-toed shoes because they think they look good. It's that simple and really, what more reason should a girl need? ;-p

Till said...

Thank you for the enlightenment! 8) Of course, my fingers are twitching to tell this 'design' person just exactly what "more reason should a girl need" and do some more ranting. Still, I control my itchy fingers and instead bow to the wisdom of the fashion-aware female.