Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Do-Gooders Go Global

So, it's official, the Obesity Epidemic is a global phenomenon, which is worrying those who aren't already worried to distraction by Global Warming.

Do-gooders in search of a cause will no doubt rejoice; with an implicit license to transcend international boundaries and do their dirty work anywhere it damn well pleases them—because, after all, it isn't the fault of the obese that they are obese! The best way to combat this, at least in the 'obesogenic'—I f....g well kid you not! that's a word now!—societies where this is possible, is to install yet more cameras, preferably and most effectively in people's houses. Maybe, if they're outfitted with some serious behavior-recognition software, not only could we ensure that dietary offenders get punished—maybe by electric shock or laser zapping—and thus become conditioned in the manner of Pavlovian dogs to swear off injuring themselves through food, but quite possibly such tendencies might be spotted, with really advanced, internet-based software provided by and included with 'automatic updates' by Microsoft®, thus actually preventing such injuries before the stupid dimwits can actually take a bite of that obesifying food.

And that's just one hi-tech solution, which ignores the many other options of delivering behavior conditioning to those incapable of policing their own habits—meaning basically everybody but those who know better. Of course.

I am so looking forward to the South Park piss-take on the Global Obesity Epidemic (GOE)!

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