Saturday, October 10, 2009

Only in NORWAY! (silly me...): Obama, Gore, Carter, Arafat

Continuing the "Only In" series...

Can there be any doubt that the once-revered, prestigious Nobel Peace Prize has become a silly little dog-and-pony side-show? It's like something The Onion could have cooked up.

So, we now live in a world in which satire is actually real, and where reality is really satire?

Sounds about right.

And speaking of The Onion, here's some news for zoologists:

God Introduces New Bird

...In keeping with tradition, the bird has not been given a name by God, who has left it to mankind to name all the animals.

"This came out at the perfect time," said Chet Clem, Chair of Biblical Science at Oral Roberts University. "God hadn't come out with anything in a long while, and people, quite frankly, were beginning to lose faith in Him. But this bird is totally worth the wait."

Added Clem, "It's classic God."

So, you see, you wicked unbelievers, not only can he create creatures (hmmm...'create creatures'?? English is taking a dive here!) and used to do it on a regular basis—with what you might call a maniacal creation drive at one stage—but he's still at it. That's tellin' ya.

Good on you, God. For your services to Earth ecology, maybe the Nobel Committee might consider you, too, for a Nobel Peace Prize, to join the illustrious lineup of...ahh, never mind.

Actually, they probably will. Next time. Certainly, they must—after all, a whole new bird!... though it isn't maybe quite as imaginative as one might have expected from you. Running out of ideas? †

Quoting from the News:

Not all, however, are impressed.

"The wingspan is not really doing it for me," said well-known creation critic Jean Krewson. "And does it always squawk like that? After six millennia, couldn't God have come up with something a little edgier to breathe life into? I hate to say it, but maybe the One Who Made Man Flesh is losing His touch."

"It's no bald eagle, that's for sure," he added.

Despite such criticisms, most humans remained united in praise of the new species, which is already surpassing previous records for bird popularity in all major wildlife sectors.

"Get 'em while supplies last," God said. "Or before they're hunted to total extinction."

Don't worry, mate. They'll give you the prize anyway. I mean, look at the illustrious lineup of...ahh, whatever.

Does God have a creative use-by date, now long-expired? If so, we may speculate on when that date was—approximately, of course. Suggestions are solicited.

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